Saturday, September 28, 2013

A Short Story Part 1

I had to write a short story for English.... So... Mawhawhaw!
Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do I have to do this?” Jenny muttered under her breath in the class room. Mrs Giovanni was making them write a short story for English. Although they were allowed to write whatever they wanted, everyone had to make sure their spelling was correct and all punctuation was even better.  That was all fine with Jenny, her spelling was better than average and she was alright with punctuation, it was just…. She had absolutely no idea at all on what to write.
Jenny Looked around the classroom and saw Jacob, considering how much he liked science fiction, he was probably writing a story about a robot or a “space speedway robbery” or something like that. Jenny’s eyes wandered over to Elisa, judging how much Elisa goes on and on about fairies… That was most likely on what she was writing about. Jenny glanced at the clock and realized she only had half an hour left to write her own short story...
“Story about a princess?”  Pfft. No way…

“A story about three little pigs and a mean wolf?” Nahh… Besides, that’s already taken…

“Hmmm… Perhaps a story about horses?” Nope. She had already written so many horse stories it was not funny.

“Maybe birds?” Jenny sighed. She didn't know very much about birds, so the story would probably sound pretty dumb.

“Maybe a story about an artist?” If she did that she would probably end up copying other artist’s books, so… Nope.

“Or maybe I could write about an alternate ending to another fairy tale?” Ack! No that would take too long!

Brriinnng!!!

Half an hour was up already?! Jenny looked down at her still-blank paper. Uh oh…. Jenny looked up in time to see Mrs Giovanni standing up and looking around the classroom. “Alright class…” She began “How many of you have finished your stories?” Jenny watched with dread expecting the whole class to put their hands up, instead, only a few kids raised their hands. Mrs Giovanni frowned slightly “Well… I suppose you all may have a lunch break and then back to this…” She then said to the kids who had raised their hands “and everyone who have finished, may have free time while the others finish their stories. Right, Class dismissed.” She smiled as all the children stampeded out of the room. 

To be continued....

3 comments:

  1. Interesting idea. I didn't notice anything wrong with spelling and such (not that I would) but you uses a LOT of the word "Was". Was is a boring, undescriptive word, it should be used as least as possible. You could possibly make your story more interesting and connected to the reader if you wrote it in first person, as in "I looked down at my still-blank paper." Well just some ideas. And of course I should say YAY another post......just because I can!

    ReplyDelete
  2. More detail on was. When was is used you are telling not showing. Here are some examples: It was a hot day or The trees and grass all dropped in the heat. I was cold or I pulled my jacket closer around my body and shivered as yet another blast of wind hit me. I tripped as I was racing down the road, in this case, I raced down the road, would be better. When people are reading stories they want to feel as if it is happening. Hope that makes some sense.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yeah.. I'll have to get around to fixing that..

    ReplyDelete